I would describe the recent runs as awkward. I underestimated the recovery time from the half marathon. I wish I could just get someone to be Dorothy to my Tin Man and pull out an oil can. It seems that simple. Like things are rusted up, stuck, hoping for a return to glory. I've been drinking a ton of water, mostly with lemon and cucumber slices to kick it up a notch and make a chore feel decadent. I am also still sugar-free and it appears dairy-free as well for the week. Maybe I'm turning into one of those weird eaters, uptight and annoying. I fear this. I want to be a girl who can just have fries with ranch and some ice cream and roll with it. But it doesn't feel good anymore. I daydream about kale.
The day before yesterday, the short run provided me with the return of faith. I would carry on. I felt a light returning, the dimmer switch of my endeavor slowly easing back toward the sky. I loved the feel of being sweaty again, the release of tension and the motion of still limbs. Then yesterday I got up early and set out to finish my usual 3.5 miles before work, and I couldn't make it. My hips were killing me. I had been to the chiropractor for an adjustment and she worked on them, so maybe that was it. Or maybe it was just that day. I remembered that some days are like that. The body just won't cooperate. And had my mind been more sure of it, perhaps a conversation could have ensued in which the two worked together, a give and take of slack where when the mind wanted to quit, the body would shine, proving itself the constant feat that it is, and when the body throbbed, the mind would give it a pep talk, pet its head and cheer it along. But that morning it went like this:
Body: My hips are killing me.
Mind: Yeah buddy, it seems kind of rough. How about you try eight more sets.
Body: Ok Eight's not that much.
Mind: Cool. There you go, You're doing great.
Body: Not really. Not Great.
Mind: You're really slowing down.
Body: It's all I got today.
Mind: Yeah, me too.
Body: You out?
Mind: Yeah. I think so. Take tomorrow off and I'll see you Saturday early before the long drive.
Mind: And Scene.
If you're in the neighborhood at 5pm tomorrow, come see us. I'll be reading from the novel and showing photographs. Campbell Hall. On the UCSB campus. Also I'll be wearing white jeans and you know you don't want to miss that.